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pitchersgal
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Country: United States
State: California
Birthday: 8/12/1981
Gender: Female
Interests: falling in and out of love with everything in sight.
Expertise: photography, baseball, sleeping, being a coffee snob, working too much, living & learning life.
Occupation: Artist
Industry: Other
Message: message me
Member Since:
12/9/2002
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| some nights are better than others. on a good night, my head hits the pillow and i fall asleep. on an okay night, i dream about random things. on a bad night like last night, i stay awake and think about all the things i've failed to accomplish and how isolated and lonely i feel and then i cry for hours until i'm so tired i fall asleep. days are good. there are distractions- people, television, activities. nights are nothing but darkness and your own thoughts. they wander and they haunt until they find the things you least want to think about. | | |
| every woman should watch the movie "blood diamond" you will never want a diamond again. | | |
| been watching a lot of studio 60 on the sunset strip lately. the same guy who wrote the west wing wrote studio 60. there are parallels. sorkin (though probably high on cocain most of the time) likes to write about this notion of who we are as individuals, our integrity, versus those who perceive us. his show often utilizes a character who must battle the evil that is the media to defend themselves against some skewed reporting. though at all times, our hero/heroine maintains he/she doesn't need to answer to the press, the almost inevitably do. (in the west wing, allison janey's character who played the press secretary had to address rumors that she was gay. in studio 60, amanda peet has to defend herself to the press because they had painted her as a career-driven, house-wife hating woman.) who are we as people and how are we defined. if i spend my entire life building a career for myself, does that make me less of a contributor to society than someone who maybe birthed children? and what if i couldn't do both, what if i HAD to choose? if i am the heroine in a sorkin primetime drama, i would sit here and valiently say, i need not answer to anyone but myself. but following his plotlines, i inevitable will need to answer to SOMEONE. and what can i answer to their questions? in life, the forks in the road reveal themselves, and we all must make decisions. chasing dreams is fun and a novel idea that maybe i am still unwilling to let go. but the day is coming near that i need make a decision. dreams are called dreams because they aren't reality. and how long can i chase a dream before i succumb to reality and the material cost of living in reality. if you stop chasing the dream, are you a sellout? and will it always haunt you? and i ask you, this feeling of failure? does it ever go away? does the sadness subside or does it simply hide until you're alone with your conscionios? how do you tame the ambition to chase dreams? how do you live knowing you didn't get to do what you believe you were meant to do? will there be things to fill the void? when will all this end so i can rest my head? | | |
| i cried during the last election. i laughed at this one. democratics get it all back *whoooop!* | | |
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